DEC 1st WORLD AIDS DAY

I was diagnosed HIV POSITIVE = sentenced to die .
XXX – WARNING – this video contains partial nudity, Hot Sexy Man Meat, Drag Queens, Transvestites, Leather, Lace, Panties, Bare Bums, Super models, strap on toy, bondage / fetish gear.
Back in 1994, I had already spent many years working in the Adult Entertainment business, as an escort, film star, stripper, boy – toy.

I had just moved into a new sugar mamas penthouse suite down in South Beach Miami FL, after being kicked out of my last sugar daddies house for sleeping with the bank teller while he was in S Africa on business.
That’s a whole different part of my life that, Im not gonna bore you with right now, it gets alot more crazy than anything I need to get into right now .
So Ill keep it simple here on facebook and leave out all the details and try n make a very long story short.
My new Sugar Mamma Pam, owned many labratories in usa, in fact , one of her labs was the first one to have found a drug that would keep Aids patients off their death bed.This was only a treatment , not a cure.
Anyhow, she knew I had been hustling for many years in the streets of LA, New York and Chicago since age 16.
She suggested that I go get an HIV test done.
I knew nothing about about HIV or AIDS other than, that in those days , it was a death sentence.I was too young and stoopid to even worry about it, as I tried to survive a carefree life, roaming city to city, bathhouse to bathouse, movie set to movie set, stage to stage, and more dirty nasty bathroom stall encounters than most even take in a lifetime.
Those days, were days of being on one stage in one city for 10 000 men at a gay pride event, to hustling at the gaiety theater the next, and then only hours later, jacked up on more meth and cocaine and poppers with creepy ol bathhouse trolls or after hours parties …makes me sick to even think about all that now , but , I am who I am today because of all my lifes lessons , and I cant change the past, and as I suggest to most, I look at it all as a gifted learning experience.Life lessons that just aren’t taught in school thats forsure.
I used to be so ashamed and humiliated at what I had got myself into over all those years, especially when I got my test results back from a doctor at the Mt Sinai Hospital in Miami FL.
HIV POSITIVE
I’ll never forget that feeling of , Im going to die, and this is for real.
I asked the doctor to do a re test , their must be a mistake.he said to me, there is no mistake, thats why they take 7 viles of blood , so there are NO MISTAKES.
I can still see the wall of the elevator that day as vivid as if I was in it just yesterday, I didn’t even press the down button, I just leaned my 21 year old head against the door and cried ..and cried,,and cried.
1998, I was sitting in a Super Max Federal Prison, down in Atlanta Georgia, locked up 23 hours a day, when I said to myself, I really need a life style change.I had just got sentanced to 5 years for V.G.S.C.A – 2 felony counts of possession of cocaine.
That was when I started day dreaming of actually turning my life around and doing something my family would be proud of me for one day.Maybe a Policeman, maybe search and Rescue, ohh wait , maybe even a Fireman??
I sat staring at my walls in my cell, day after day after day, as the minutes seemed to stand still, trying to block out the sounds of grown men completely loosing their minds, I’ll tell ya first hand,from experience, solitary confinment will break even the most hardest of badass criminals.
And if the solitary confinement doesnt break you , try surviving as a white boy is a prison that is 80 % black, and 18 % mexican, 2 % white.
Feel free at any point in this story to insert the word Post Traumatic STRESS.
Upon being deported back to Canada, in 2000 , I had made a vow while in Prison to devote my time to helping raise awareness to HIV / AIDS and even day dreamt of one day being able to go to detention centers and try and talk sense too and work with Youth at Risk.
This story upon being released from Prison is about 3 books worth, so i’ll sum this part up like this.
Only 6 months after being released, I found my self on s stage, in front of over 7000 people, volunteering my time to Fashion Cares .
This show was called “Garden of Evil “.
Fashion Cares puts on a annual fundraiser every year since 1987 by Mac cosmetics, and all proceeds are donated to the Elton John Aids Foundation, and ACT – ( Aids Commitee of Toronto )
We rhelped raise over $ 1 million dollars that night.
That night was pretty badass.That feeling of freedom again , and to walk down a stage for so many thousands of people, who were their to support this event, was certainly a better view than my urine, booger, and feces covered cell walls.
I had got to meet so many of the worlds top fashion designers, super models and countless musicians.
I had brought my own videogragher ( Pozi ) as I always do to all my silly lifes adventures, and in this video , I appoligize for the crap quality, but we didnt have digital back then and to transfer the content from mini dv – to computer – to go pro – to you , was not easy, but ..here ya go , December 1st – 2001.
Today is Dec 1st, and it is a date that will forever need awareness brought to .I have lost many many friends due to this deadly virus, and in my book comming out this Feb 12th , you will get the full story of how this virus came back to haunt me in Whistler just 2 years ago.
Thank you for your time you took to read this , and sharing with your friends.
Y anever know who will get this and think , hmmm maybe I should go get tested today, believe me, you may save many lives by doing so .
Respectfully
Oh – ummm to an old Hunny Bee friend of mine out their who may be reading this , I GOT YOU – SSSSSheaven 777 – BOOO

TRUE Healthcare .. starts with SELFCARE

ARE YOU :
– feeling Mentally, Physically or Spritually HELPLESS ?
– battling with alcohol or substance abuse ?
– Depressed
– Stressed
– Anxious
– Restless
– Irritable
NO PROBLEM – we are only human , and YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Join us LIVE here on Facebook tommorrow ( Nov 14th) at 8:30 am PST.
WE WILL WORK TOGETHER, on getting our lives back under control, as we will begin down a new path to a healthier, happier, more stressfree life again one small step – one day at a time.
Bring an open mind, towel to sit on, a bottle water, download some spa music, and maybe even some metallica. ( winks )
8:30 am – Intro at Peoples The Fitness Community
8:45 am – breathing excersie / meditation
9:00 am – warm up body
9:05 am – easy to do at home excersies – full body
9:20 am – stretching – core – abs
9:30 – I will gladly communicate with you LIVE and answer any questions you may have – ( 15 minutes )

1-year-drug-free
We will do this daily – for next 30 days TOGETHER

FAMILY SUPPORT - every dark night - brings a new day.

As the dust settles, from the storm we leave behind us, years of burnt bridges with our co workers, friends, teammates, and family. However one kid, one warrior, THE ONE TRUEST CHAMPION I know, my cousin – Curtis Harriott never gave up on me, always believed in me, always supported me, never judged me and stood in my corner through it all.

I used to take him fishing when he was a kid, we used to go dirtbiking, and wakeboarding together all summer long, seeing who could stick the best trick, or nail a sick board slide.I felt that he looked up to me, those were the days long before the devil crept in and robbed myself of its soul.

After the Olympics, I felt so ashamed, so not worthy of being any sort of anybody to look up to – I felt weak, depressed, and disgusted with self for not being stronger in my mind – I was trying to survive, unknowingly with a Post Traumatic Stress Injury.

After loosing my careers, and having to check into many mental health facilities over the years, there was always one kid who never looked down on me , never thought any different of me, and was always in my corner regardless of learning about my dark past growing up – and regardless of the fact that I had become a night janitor scrubbing toilets, mopping floors and emptying womens tampon garbages stall after stall after stall for a living.

I felt even my own step sons friends, bros on my hockey team, other fireman would laugh at me and what I had become, from being a fireman / a medic / saveing lives to now a dirty mop bucket, rubber gloves and a cart filled with cleaning supplies. How ambarrassing and humiliating.But what else can a man do.who had just lost his career, as he wait for WCB to provide him the help he had paid into for so many years – to a insurance company who unlawfully in my opinion extorts your money off each check with promises of help if your ever injured on the job – total smoke and mirror show if you ask me from the biggest most crooked ass clowns in business today.

** FACT ** – WCB doesnt even, for one minute in ANY of their own safety training manuals teach us for one second anything about PTSD. It’s beyond me- well..actaully its clear to me now – we are just business to them and any bullshit excuse they can use NOT to help us heal is quite obvious. GREED $$

Curious – Why in Germany do they teach highschool kids about PTSD and yet, when I trained as a ski patroller, a fireman, and a medic for many years, class after class, practice after practice, and yet I was not made aware of this mental injury for one second.

Nothing about the signs and symptoms to pickup within self, or our co workers or even our patients.NOTHING

Curious – why will NO worksafe people ever contact me back about me volunteering my time to go speak at these 80 hour First Aid coarses?

When iw as in Detox last year – I met a guy who said his uncle is in a very high level of St. Johns Ambulance.I told him – ahh man , One day when I get well, i want to go talk at their entry level coarses about PTSD.

He says to me , they will never let me go talk at those classes.

I was like huh ? why not ?

He replies , because 1/2 of the people would get up and walk out of the classroom.

I looked at him and says – BOOOOM , then we JUST SAVED those peoples lives , their familes lives, and prevented many years of them suffering. ( to date – after many emails offeirng my time to speak at these coarses – nobody has returned my calls or emails )

Why , in Germnay, over the last 20 years has their not been ONE SINGLE first respoder die by suicide who had been dianosed with PTSD ..but in Canada we have over 100 die by suicide in the last 2 years ?? pick up a mop bucket and you’ll underdtand ..I did, and I get it now.

back to my post –

That feeling a grown man gets inside knowing, he has endured so much in his life , but yet it all boiled down to cleaning up dirty diapers in public changer rooms, and picking up the dead skin and other body scum from the drains 8 hours a day, as I spennt YEARS trying to prove I had a injury caused at work… just to feed my family – who was slowly giving up on me also – #DEPRESSION – #suicidal

Over the years, I watched Curtis grow to be a strong fighter, it felt to me the stronger he got, the weaker I was getting..each fight he won, I was so proud of him for accomplishing what I failed at , he was becoming everything I wanted to be one day – a true champion.

Everytime I was down and depressed on myself , I’d think about how this kid did it , how hard he trained, how dedicated he was, how focused and determined he was to one day win the belt, and be a professional fighter.

Everytime I hit the gym , I wanted to be like Curt, I wanted to succeed, I focused on climbing to the top also one day..but with a injury in my mind – I only found myself failing , falling flat on my face over and over.

No matter how times I checked myself in, no matter how many times I didnt show up to go wakeboarding or dirtbiking anymore- he always believed in me.

I recall years ago, asking him – “hey Curt” , ya think one day I can walk you to the cage , as part of your team ? he said yeah- one day forsure.

I held onto that dream each and every fight I went to – each time he won he got closer to fighting for the world champion title – I never missed a fight ( ok i missed one ) I was sooo inspired by who he was growing up to be.I had only day dreamt that I had that drive- that spirt – that passion to becoming the worlds best.

Year after year – fight after fight, finally that day came when the promoter from Battlefield Fight League and Curtis worked it out so that I could be RINGSIDE with him as be battled for the BELT.

( see vidieo)

2 years ago – set all the bullshit aside, after all my family, my friends, my everything was gone – I checked myself into detox for the final time ( so i thought )- and who was the one kid who called me to come visit and still be in my corner at my darkest moment ? ,,thats right – THE CHAMP – Curtis Harriott

Each day I sat in that hell hole, each minute I went throu my withdrawls, each time I wanted to give up and surrender, I thought about eveything Curtis lives for – how humble he is, how strong he is and how dedicated he is to be the best , most badass champ that ever enter the ring.

He taught me alot more about self than I ever knew, he taught me how important it is to never give up on family or our dreams and goals, he taught me how to set my ego aside and believe in SELF.

Curt just messaged me yesterday and informed me of his fight on the weekend – yet another signature win by BODY SLAM KNOCK OUT, in the 1st round

I am sorry I missed this fight Curtis, and im sorry I was not there to support you this time brother – please know in your heart and journey in this life that you have inspired me most to do everything I live for today – respect

Bet your belt . i’ll be at the next fight brother

You ARE THE MFK’in C H A M P !!!

NEVER SURRENDER !!

Let the Games Begin - Terrance Joseph Kosikar - Final Chapter

* OUR WORK IS DONE .. GOODBYE CANADA ** ( sad face )
Now boarding flight LH937 back to Germany, to finish writing the final Chapter of my book ..“Let the Games Begin”.
Nearly 2 years ago, I recall sitting under my gazebo a broken man, not a penny to my name, I had lost everything, my family, my friends, my career, my sanity, as I had just climbed down off the Lions Gate bridge from my 3rd and final attempt at trying to end my life only days earlier.

I looked up into the universe for my strength, as it was obvious to me that I still had work to do on this earth as a human, ending my life was NOT an option any longer.
Time to get my ass in gear, and take the many, many years of trying to survive (uneducated) with a wound that was not visible #PTSD, but yet quite vivid in my every day life, my mind, my shattered spirit, my every heartbeat bled nothing but nervousness, stress, depression, anxiety and a deeper depth of darkness than words will ever describe.
It had taken a few weeks, and a lot of hard work to battle though my usual, ever so easy to escape, self medication tool – drugs, and its brutal withdrawals to realize, that it was simply my environment that kept me from getting better and getting the help that I needed not only from within – from from a much higher power.
I sat one morning after my meditation as it dawned on me that , maybe I should write a book , and the answers to my destiny will soon fall into place?
Was I prepared to have a very large X on my back for the rest of my life for writing this book?
Absolutely was, after 3 suicide attempts, I had nothing more to loose and felt in my heart that all I had endured had to be shared to help myself heal and help those who may also be trying to survive the same life I had led for so long shackled in chains, and waking each day to the same nightmare, the same vicious cycle that often leads us to the end of our ropes or even worse, self tourcher consuming all the meds and street drugs self medicating our wounds – numbing our minds – further separating our spirit from ourselves.
I had called a publishing company 2 years ago asking for a grant to write my book.
They said to me, I needed to give them my first chapter, middle chapter and my final chapter edited and book ready and they would consider giving me a grant..
I banged out my first chapter, middle chapter and got to the final chapter and thought, when I do release this book , and maybe end up shot one day because of it, is this how I want my book or the movie to end…with only a simple story of how I escaped the grasps of evil, a life riddled with addiction, heartache, and loss, as I ran off into the mountains and got my life back, naturally ?
I asked myself , if I had went to watch this movie or read this book i’d want my dam money back , how lame , after all that I had endured in life, THIS IS HOW IT ENDS ..this is my final chapter?
So, I slammed the pages down, stood up strong, proud, and looked up into the universe, thankful, grateful for my life today , and said to myself, I have a opportunity today to make the BEST DAM final chapter to my own book, I am in control of my destiny, I have a gift of life today that is not governed by laws, rules, or judgements from anybody.
I AM FREE, and strong today, as are YOU, to do what I, or we wish to do with our lives and to live my own dream, to chase my own goals, to do as I wish today for ME, and the desire to simply help, and educate as many people as possible who may still be suffering in silence, and the selfless need to connect with those people and offer support, love, compassion, along with healthy natural tools that we can all use to heal, and enjoy our life today one day at a time.
The training began, and all my dreams and goals went straight onto the pages, I had found my purpose – something to drive for, the need to help others get their lives back the same way I did, Naturally, but how was I going to do this ?
I had not a penny to my name, and had no idea how to use the internet, my tires on jeep were bald as, and I was 100’s of kms away from people, without food, no heat, but I did have a dream and I focused on it.
I could NOT change yesterday, and tomorrow wasn’t here yet, so I had no choice but to LIVE IN THE NOW – Lebe das Jetzt !
Now, 2 years later I’m off to #Germany, to spend the next few months, excited to be writing the final chapter many dreams and goals that I never thought were possible, until I just set both feet firmly onto the ground, believed in myself, and took one small step after the other, never allowing anything to get in the way – NOTHING
I assure you, after these past 2 years, of just reaching out, asking for help, admitting and accepting to myself for me and turing all of my downfalls into strengths, and forgive those who I feel may have done me wrong over time, have learned one thing for sure…this is NOT THE FINAL CHAPTER , but rather only just the beginning, and have really learned that , there is a lot more support from so many people out there – we just have to be #humble, set our #ego aside, let our guard down and ask for it.
BE REAL WITH YOURSELF, AND TO THOSE WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH.
IT’S NOT WEAK to SPEAK #itsnotweaktospeak
Without the genuine support, and #compassion from so many, (YOU) I’d still be sitting in the middle of the backcountry mountains with NOTHING.
You have a dream, and a goal also .. I know you do, we all do -THEN GO FOR IT – #NO #EXCUSES – anything is possible as long we can be stronger than our worst enemy – our minds – drive with your heart and soul and you will never be defeated.
The secret = $0.00
Connect truly with others from your heart,
#Believe in yourself.. and #LOVE YOURSELF
Thank you, to all of you, who have believed in me, and have helped support my dreams and goals, none of this would be possible without YOU –
Be sure to join us this Feb 12, 2017, as we are declaring it now .. NATIONAL PTSD AWARENESS DAY, Because we can, and JUST DID !!
instagram _breakingthechainsbc_
twitter @BreakingTCBC
website www.breakingthechainsbc.com
facebook Terrance Joseph Kosikar

WARRANTS FOR MY ARREST ? Tribal police flips tire to help raise awareness to PTSD

After hours of intense interrogation, by Constable Leonard Isaac, of the Tribal Police Stl’Atl’Imx, Mr.Terrance Joseph Kosikar refused to testify and is protected under s. 13 of the Charter from having any incriminating statements “used to incriminate himself in any proceedings against him at this time.

Kosikar says.
“It’s not very often you see many people where I live out here in the backcountry, so today was very odd to me when I heard the rumble of a truck creeping its way up the long road to my cabin.”
I got the binoculars out, and to my surprise, it was a Tribal Police Truck.
Kosikar admits
He immediately, ran inside the cabin and put all the guns away..grabbed his camera and started filming this unique situation.
Ya see , even when people get shot up here , or stabbed, its still very rare for the police to show up.
Do I have a warrant for my arrest ?
Maybe hash tagging FBI – Federal Bureau of Investigation , or BC RCMP wasn’t such a good idea in a lot of my recent posts ?
Sure enough, the truck pulled into my driveway, and yup..it sure was the P O L I C E
Relief came immediately, when the man said his name and I realized …wait a second …we’re Facebook Friends aren’t we ?
We talked for a few minutes in my driveway, and then invited Constable Leonard Isaac inside for a cup of matcha tea.
We stood on my deck for a few hours talking until the sun went down and learned many things about each others past and present.
Our conversation will forever be confidential, like it is with all my new facebook friends who reach out to me either through email, phone or in person, but I had one question for this man, why did he drive over 100 kilometres to my cabin to visit a small time, nobody like me ?
Constable Leonard Isaac, stated that he had been following Breaking the Chains BC on facebook for many months now after learning of our PTSD / Mental health Awareness program through one of our producers David Malysheff from Gamut Productions.
He had felt bad that he couldn’t take any time off this summer to join us in English Bay to help us flip our tire, so while he had just received 6 subpoena ‘s to give to people in our town, he thought he would stop in not only to meet me, but also get his hands on our tire to help raise awareness to PTSD and , even so much as invite me to ride along with him to deliver these court orders.
I tell ya one thing about this experience today..
First of all , I am honoured that this man drove over 100 kms to my cabin to meet me in person , and join me for tea and many hours of man to man conversation ..but this is where I learned something I never really understood and or felt until I sat in his police car as we drove around town .
It was the first time I had wished that I too was wearing a bullet proof vest, and had a gun on my hip.
In fact , as we parked at the first house to deliver the court order ..I seriously had asked him if he had an extra gun I could have in case shit went sideways.
I mean, we are easily over 100 kilometres from any back up and this man like most small town police , RIDE ALONE.
I have been in many situations in my life, but never one like this where i actually felt that my safety was seriously at a huge risk here
I can’t even believe this man, like many others in our country walk up to houses to either serve warrants, or even just respond to domestic calls or any other calls ALL ALONE ..with back up being HOURS away .
Every time he got out of his car to go knock on the door , I kept looking over my shoulder for someone to walk up and potentially shoot me in the side of the head .. or, I just kept looking up at the windows for someone maybe wanting to do the same to him …these people in the house have NO IDEA we are only serving court orders …what if these people inside are running game , or think we are there for a different reason and want go out guns a blazing …I sit n watch as he knocks on the doors and stands to the side …each person opens the door, he greets them with a smile , but not knowing who else is in the house or what THEY maybe thinking or feeling.
I can see why so many police officers are the way they are ..They have to be , especially in a world full of so many total loony toons.
PEOPLE
I couldn’t even imagine doing this sort of job 12 hrs a day , most often 6 days a week …without dropping names ..I have spoke with many many police officers in the last 6 months and may of them …have NOT EVEN GOT more than 1 day off per week for over a year.
Really pisses me off when I see what the media only shows the people …the media is always showing how cops are beating or shooting someone by accident.
Why can’t the media show how over worked our Canadian Police officers are ?
Why do they only ever show the bad stuff ? why never the good stuff that 1000’s of Police officer do to risk their lives every minute they walk the street?
How would you feel if every person who walked by you at work, weather in your office or even at the coffee shop could potentially SHOOT YOU ??
How would we feel going to a job that , one minute your called to a suicicde, and while doing the paper work on that call, you end up going to a child rape call, and then showing up to a call where some goof just beat a woman black n blue to the point she can’t even say her own name , on top of being at the hospital and having a mentally ill patient grab objects and start beating you with them, and knowing you can’t do anything about it other than try and subdue this person and keep them in control ..call after call after call ..day after day .. and yet ..does anyone ever thank these police officer for their service ..or just EXPECT THEIR SERVICE when they need a cop ?
Why do we always see a cop and look the other way? When these are the HUMAN BEINGS who fight what we fear ?
We expect them to keep the drugs out of our children schools , we expect them to come running when their is a stranger peeking in your windows when you sleep , we expect them to hunt down the predators, we expect them to take bullets for us and have any of us actually looked up and thanked a police officer rather than worry about getting a ticket or is our seatbelt fastened or are we speeding?
Do we ever stop for a minute and take a look at all the bullshit crimes that go on every minute of every day .some people don’t even pull to the side of the road when they hear a siren, do we even think for a second that someone maybe be dying or is bleeding..and who do you think shows up to stop the bleed or secures a a crime scene or hunts down the murderer, rapist, drug / weapons dealer, or protects us against the criminals?
I spent many years when was younger committing these crimes the police respond too, and let me tell you first hand, most will never know or ever see what really goes on in the streets, in the jails, in the darkest of alleyways which even some of the most seasoned criminals wouldn’t event walk down on a good day.
Take a minute today – and if you see a cop , wave, smile , thank them for not only risking their lives to PROTECT us, but also be grateful we don’t have to go home with everything they see and do day to day to keep us safe .
When they go home after a shift , the gun and badge may stay in the locker, but the thoughts and feelings of what they endure and see each day stays with them..while they try and be a father, or a mother, they see the crimes, they hear the tears , they feel the loss of life day in and day out ..everyday of every shift and yet most of us …just EXPECT this from them ?
Without names or departments…I will say this cause the media wont tell you , and either will any cop ..but I assure you that nearly 70 % of all Police officers may look strong and are strong on the outside…but inside their hearts and souls are being torn to shreds without any help from their employers, they are brutally over worked and are taking home more and more trauma than we the public have any idea .
Today was Thanks Giving ..and I am Thankful for Constable Leonard Isaac for driving hours into the back country all alone, just to meet me, flip out tire to help raise awareness to PTSD / Mental Health and take me with you to deliver court orders.
I feel and understand your position a lot more than I ever did Sir , and I have a lot more respect for all police officers around the world now knowing just how tough your job really is.
One day we will get ” the presumptive” clause passed, ( Bill M203) so all of our Emergency Service Providers can have access to the help they need sooner than later.
When I say “WE” .. I MEAN US —- THE PUBLIC who YOU risk your life for everyday.
Thanks giving happens once per year , we should all be Thankful everyday of the year for our Public safety workers.

My Hotel Sponsor Caught Me Stealing ..ya gotta do what ya gotta do

My hotel sponsor CAUGHT ME STEALING,

I feel horrible, but ya just gotta do what ya gotta do to raise awareness to #ptsd.
General Manager, Tony Medd of the Summit Lodge Boutique Hotel, tells his side of the story.
Only 6 weeks after coming down of the Lions Gate Bridge, I had a dream, and a goal.
My dream, to run a camp for first responders who suffer with PTSD, and a goal, to raise awareness to PTSD.
In order to make the dream and my goal a reality, I needed to learn how to use the internet.Keep in mind I was 200 kms away from any humans, a place where internet just did not even exist.
Jan/ early Feb 2015, I had made my way into Whistler, and started grinding away at my goals.
I was only 6 weeks into my opiate and other substance withdrawals, and didn’t have a penny to my name and had just picked up 2 bags of food from the local Food Bank.
NOTHING was going to stop me from fulfilling this dream now that I had another chance at life.
I had spent the first few days outside the Blendz coffee shop poaching the internet from 11 pm till about 5 am ..everyday freezing cold, fingers numb, hungary and homeless.
After a few 22 hour days, I found it a real pain in the ass sitting outside in the freezing cold and I walked across the street one morning to use the bathroom at the Summit Lodge Hotel.While I was in the bathroom I was like …AWWW DAM it sure is nice n warm in here.
I now found my new office, the bathroom floor beside the urinals, Didn’t bother me , as only a few weeks earlier i was trying to survive in the alleyways down on E.Hastings,the bowels of Vancouver.
Pffft , bathroom floors…LUXURY.
Now, I had noticed that every time I stepped outside to have a cigarette , I saw that nobody was at the front desk.
A thought crossed my mind as I looked over through the lobby at the big warm welcoming fireplace and super rad comfy couch , with big ol pillows.Sure would be nice to set up shop there.Certainly better than the floors in the pisser.
I rolled the dice , and set my computer up night after night, everyday until the first hotel customer had came down off the elevator for coffee.I even went so far as to bring my own tea lights and candles.
I’ll never forget the feeling in my gut when something came over me and thought, maybe I should write the GM and ask him to help sponsor me and allow me to have a room for one night per week in order for me to at least have a quik nap in a bed, and a shower once per week.
Remember, in those days I was homeless in Whistler, and was only napping 3 hrs every morning per day for weeks.
Us addicts will go to any length to get what we need, no mountain is to HIGH, no law is to stiff, no penalty would ever stop us from getting from a-b.
I sent Tony Medd an email and , he responded with a email politely asking me to not return to the hotel again.
My heart was broken.
All I could think and feel was, even after 5 long years of suffering with PTSD, the loss of my family of 13 years, my careers, my friends and numerous denials from WCB..now I get yet another door slammed in my face and what did I do to deserve this way of life for so long?
When would i ever get a break?
The thoughts of giving up crossed my mind for about 3 seconds, and I looked up into the universe and smiled.I knew I had a purpose on this earth and I was simply NOT IN CONTROL of it at all, and this was just the way it was meant to be.
So I left the hotel back out into the brittle cold to keep driving from my heart at my goals and dreams.
Thanks to my higher power and beautiful destiny, Tonys initial judgment of me was changed within hours and next thing ya know i found myself eating at a 5 star restaurant and given a executive king size suite 3 days a week for as long as i needed to get the work done.
Now, nearly 2 years later, I still have my room here at the Summit Lodge, and am proud to say that we started www.campmyway.com last summer and to date have almost made 1 million views through our social media / websites, instagram, twitter , CTV NEWS, Global News, every news paper from Canada to Germany and we are now helping change the workers compensation law to help other First Responders who suffer with PTSD get the help they need upon request, without years of suffering and or facing the horrific thoughts of leaving there friends and families behind from takin their own life.
The success to these last 2 years of hard work in raising awareness to PTSD , is only possible because of one of our first sponsors Tony Medd at the Summit Lodge Boutique in Whistler.
None of this would be possible if it weren’t for Tonys genuine compassion and for believing in me.
I will admit , these last few days have been pretty stressful for me as I can’t possibly tell you all in a facebook post or quik video just how grateful I am to Tony and all the staff here at the Summit Lodge.
I will ask you now though, please help me show Tony the support he deserves by voting Summit Lodge to win for the 3 year in a row to be Canada’s #1 Ski Hotel by clicking the link below you can vote now.
http://worldskiawards.com/…/summit-lodge-boutique-hotel-2016

NDP/MLA Shane Simpson shackled in Chains - PTSD / Mental Health Awareness

My new Friend Mr.Shane Simpson, a member of the legislative assembly, joined us last week to help help us flip our tire while shackled in chains to raise awareness to PTSD and support those suffering with mental illness.

watch vid

shane sit ups

I'M NO LONGER AFRAID ...

This post brings many tears to my eyes …

3 weeks ago while I was in Victoria, I had received an email from a man, thanking the Breaking the Chains BC team for helping save his life during a PTSD Awareness event we had just completed only 2 days prior.

I asked the man to please call me ASAP, and gave him my phone number.
Within minutes, I answered the call from a man named Rand Vance.

He explained that his life had been pretty rough over the years, since a young age (will not get into details in this post) and this was a special day for him because he was handed one of our flyers from one of our very dedicated PTSD WARRIORS.

He looked up our website and learned more about what we we’re doing to help support those who suffer in silence and are living with Post Traumatic Stress. He went through many of our past videos and was very inspired by our message, and felt he was NOT ALONE, and could reach out to us.

So he did.

After hearing Rand Vance story, it had touched my heart so much, that we at Breaking the Chains BC decided that day to do ANOTHER #PTSD / #mentalhealth program for Aug 20th (this past weekend).

Now the second best part of the story, I had opened my facebook the next day to see that Rand had taken it upon himself to start doing the #22pushupchallange and help raise awareness to the 22 soldiers who die by suicide in America each day who suffer with PTSD.

I had watched his video of day one, trying to do his 22 push ups ..and it brought so many tears to my eyes, after hearing his life story and here he was now raising awareness himself to PTSD and dong his best to do so …upon watching him struggle and bang out 14 of his 22 push-ups ..that was the best he could do …it confirmed my personal belief that ..I had now found MY HERO.

I gave him my word on the phone a few days earlier that we would meet in person and we would do another PTSD awareness program on Aug 20th.

Now the best part, Rand Vance shows up 1 hour early on Aug 20th and tells me he doesn’t feel comfortable in crowds and that he’s afraid of being in large groups.

I explained to him as the bus loads of warriors showed up, that WE ARE ALL THERE TO SUPPORT each other and connect together.

Rand, still explained to me that he was not comfortable with so many people around him. I put my paw on his shoulder, looked him in he eyes, and assured him ..he is safe, and in good hands as I looked up to the universe above and smiled.

The video you’re about to watch says it all, as I have no words that will ever describe how it feels to have watched Rand lead over 70 Warriors doing 22 push ups to raise awareness to the 22 soldiers who die by suicide each day in America.

Thank you Rand Vance, you Sir are not only MY HERO, but a huge inspiration to all.

Global News coverage from our event this weekend

Here’s just the beginning of this weekend’s huge success from the Breaking the Chains BC team of volunteers who came down to help us raise awareness to PTSD and support those with Mental Illness .

stay tuned all week for the amazing story ..