Let the Games Begin - Terrance Joseph Kosikar - Final Chapter

* OUR WORK IS DONE .. GOODBYE CANADA ** ( sad face )
Now boarding flight LH937 back to Germany, to finish writing the final Chapter of my book ..“Let the Games Begin”.
Nearly 2 years ago, I recall sitting under my gazebo a broken man, not a penny to my name, I had lost everything, my family, my friends, my career, my sanity, as I had just climbed down off the Lions Gate bridge from my 3rd and final attempt at trying to end my life only days earlier.

I looked up into the universe for my strength, as it was obvious to me that I still had work to do on this earth as a human, ending my life was NOT an option any longer.
Time to get my ass in gear, and take the many, many years of trying to survive (uneducated) with a wound that was not visible #PTSD, but yet quite vivid in my every day life, my mind, my shattered spirit, my every heartbeat bled nothing but nervousness, stress, depression, anxiety and a deeper depth of darkness than words will ever describe.
It had taken a few weeks, and a lot of hard work to battle though my usual, ever so easy to escape, self medication tool – drugs, and its brutal withdrawals to realize, that it was simply my environment that kept me from getting better and getting the help that I needed not only from within – from from a much higher power.
I sat one morning after my meditation as it dawned on me that , maybe I should write a book , and the answers to my destiny will soon fall into place?
Was I prepared to have a very large X on my back for the rest of my life for writing this book?
Absolutely was, after 3 suicide attempts, I had nothing more to loose and felt in my heart that all I had endured had to be shared to help myself heal and help those who may also be trying to survive the same life I had led for so long shackled in chains, and waking each day to the same nightmare, the same vicious cycle that often leads us to the end of our ropes or even worse, self tourcher consuming all the meds and street drugs self medicating our wounds – numbing our minds – further separating our spirit from ourselves.
I had called a publishing company 2 years ago asking for a grant to write my book.
They said to me, I needed to give them my first chapter, middle chapter and my final chapter edited and book ready and they would consider giving me a grant..
I banged out my first chapter, middle chapter and got to the final chapter and thought, when I do release this book , and maybe end up shot one day because of it, is this how I want my book or the movie to end…with only a simple story of how I escaped the grasps of evil, a life riddled with addiction, heartache, and loss, as I ran off into the mountains and got my life back, naturally ?
I asked myself , if I had went to watch this movie or read this book i’d want my dam money back , how lame , after all that I had endured in life, THIS IS HOW IT ENDS ..this is my final chapter?
So, I slammed the pages down, stood up strong, proud, and looked up into the universe, thankful, grateful for my life today , and said to myself, I have a opportunity today to make the BEST DAM final chapter to my own book, I am in control of my destiny, I have a gift of life today that is not governed by laws, rules, or judgements from anybody.
I AM FREE, and strong today, as are YOU, to do what I, or we wish to do with our lives and to live my own dream, to chase my own goals, to do as I wish today for ME, and the desire to simply help, and educate as many people as possible who may still be suffering in silence, and the selfless need to connect with those people and offer support, love, compassion, along with healthy natural tools that we can all use to heal, and enjoy our life today one day at a time.
The training began, and all my dreams and goals went straight onto the pages, I had found my purpose – something to drive for, the need to help others get their lives back the same way I did, Naturally, but how was I going to do this ?
I had not a penny to my name, and had no idea how to use the internet, my tires on jeep were bald as, and I was 100’s of kms away from people, without food, no heat, but I did have a dream and I focused on it.
I could NOT change yesterday, and tomorrow wasn’t here yet, so I had no choice but to LIVE IN THE NOW – Lebe das Jetzt !
Now, 2 years later I’m off to #Germany, to spend the next few months, excited to be writing the final chapter many dreams and goals that I never thought were possible, until I just set both feet firmly onto the ground, believed in myself, and took one small step after the other, never allowing anything to get in the way – NOTHING
I assure you, after these past 2 years, of just reaching out, asking for help, admitting and accepting to myself for me and turing all of my downfalls into strengths, and forgive those who I feel may have done me wrong over time, have learned one thing for sure…this is NOT THE FINAL CHAPTER , but rather only just the beginning, and have really learned that , there is a lot more support from so many people out there – we just have to be #humble, set our #ego aside, let our guard down and ask for it.
BE REAL WITH YOURSELF, AND TO THOSE WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH.
IT’S NOT WEAK to SPEAK #itsnotweaktospeak
Without the genuine support, and #compassion from so many, (YOU) I’d still be sitting in the middle of the backcountry mountains with NOTHING.
You have a dream, and a goal also .. I know you do, we all do -THEN GO FOR IT – #NO #EXCUSES – anything is possible as long we can be stronger than our worst enemy – our minds – drive with your heart and soul and you will never be defeated.
The secret = $0.00
Connect truly with others from your heart,
#Believe in yourself.. and #LOVE YOURSELF
Thank you, to all of you, who have believed in me, and have helped support my dreams and goals, none of this would be possible without YOU –
Be sure to join us this Feb 12, 2017, as we are declaring it now .. NATIONAL PTSD AWARENESS DAY, Because we can, and JUST DID !!
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WARRANTS FOR MY ARREST ? Tribal police flips tire to help raise awareness to PTSD

After hours of intense interrogation, by Constable Leonard Isaac, of the Tribal Police Stl’Atl’Imx, Mr.Terrance Joseph Kosikar refused to testify and is protected under s. 13 of the Charter from having any incriminating statements “used to incriminate himself in any proceedings against him at this time.

Kosikar says.
“It’s not very often you see many people where I live out here in the backcountry, so today was very odd to me when I heard the rumble of a truck creeping its way up the long road to my cabin.”
I got the binoculars out, and to my surprise, it was a Tribal Police Truck.
Kosikar admits
He immediately, ran inside the cabin and put all the guns away..grabbed his camera and started filming this unique situation.
Ya see , even when people get shot up here , or stabbed, its still very rare for the police to show up.
Do I have a warrant for my arrest ?
Maybe hash tagging FBI – Federal Bureau of Investigation , or BC RCMP wasn’t such a good idea in a lot of my recent posts ?
Sure enough, the truck pulled into my driveway, and yup..it sure was the P O L I C E
Relief came immediately, when the man said his name and I realized …wait a second …we’re Facebook Friends aren’t we ?
We talked for a few minutes in my driveway, and then invited Constable Leonard Isaac inside for a cup of matcha tea.
We stood on my deck for a few hours talking until the sun went down and learned many things about each others past and present.
Our conversation will forever be confidential, like it is with all my new facebook friends who reach out to me either through email, phone or in person, but I had one question for this man, why did he drive over 100 kilometres to my cabin to visit a small time, nobody like me ?
Constable Leonard Isaac, stated that he had been following Breaking the Chains BC on facebook for many months now after learning of our PTSD / Mental health Awareness program through one of our producers David Malysheff from Gamut Productions.
He had felt bad that he couldn’t take any time off this summer to join us in English Bay to help us flip our tire, so while he had just received 6 subpoena ‘s to give to people in our town, he thought he would stop in not only to meet me, but also get his hands on our tire to help raise awareness to PTSD and , even so much as invite me to ride along with him to deliver these court orders.
I tell ya one thing about this experience today..
First of all , I am honoured that this man drove over 100 kms to my cabin to meet me in person , and join me for tea and many hours of man to man conversation ..but this is where I learned something I never really understood and or felt until I sat in his police car as we drove around town .
It was the first time I had wished that I too was wearing a bullet proof vest, and had a gun on my hip.
In fact , as we parked at the first house to deliver the court order ..I seriously had asked him if he had an extra gun I could have in case shit went sideways.
I mean, we are easily over 100 kilometres from any back up and this man like most small town police , RIDE ALONE.
I have been in many situations in my life, but never one like this where i actually felt that my safety was seriously at a huge risk here
I can’t even believe this man, like many others in our country walk up to houses to either serve warrants, or even just respond to domestic calls or any other calls ALL ALONE ..with back up being HOURS away .
Every time he got out of his car to go knock on the door , I kept looking over my shoulder for someone to walk up and potentially shoot me in the side of the head .. or, I just kept looking up at the windows for someone maybe wanting to do the same to him …these people in the house have NO IDEA we are only serving court orders …what if these people inside are running game , or think we are there for a different reason and want go out guns a blazing …I sit n watch as he knocks on the doors and stands to the side …each person opens the door, he greets them with a smile , but not knowing who else is in the house or what THEY maybe thinking or feeling.
I can see why so many police officers are the way they are ..They have to be , especially in a world full of so many total loony toons.
PEOPLE
I couldn’t even imagine doing this sort of job 12 hrs a day , most often 6 days a week …without dropping names ..I have spoke with many many police officers in the last 6 months and may of them …have NOT EVEN GOT more than 1 day off per week for over a year.
Really pisses me off when I see what the media only shows the people …the media is always showing how cops are beating or shooting someone by accident.
Why can’t the media show how over worked our Canadian Police officers are ?
Why do they only ever show the bad stuff ? why never the good stuff that 1000’s of Police officer do to risk their lives every minute they walk the street?
How would you feel if every person who walked by you at work, weather in your office or even at the coffee shop could potentially SHOOT YOU ??
How would we feel going to a job that , one minute your called to a suicicde, and while doing the paper work on that call, you end up going to a child rape call, and then showing up to a call where some goof just beat a woman black n blue to the point she can’t even say her own name , on top of being at the hospital and having a mentally ill patient grab objects and start beating you with them, and knowing you can’t do anything about it other than try and subdue this person and keep them in control ..call after call after call ..day after day .. and yet ..does anyone ever thank these police officer for their service ..or just EXPECT THEIR SERVICE when they need a cop ?
Why do we always see a cop and look the other way? When these are the HUMAN BEINGS who fight what we fear ?
We expect them to keep the drugs out of our children schools , we expect them to come running when their is a stranger peeking in your windows when you sleep , we expect them to hunt down the predators, we expect them to take bullets for us and have any of us actually looked up and thanked a police officer rather than worry about getting a ticket or is our seatbelt fastened or are we speeding?
Do we ever stop for a minute and take a look at all the bullshit crimes that go on every minute of every day .some people don’t even pull to the side of the road when they hear a siren, do we even think for a second that someone maybe be dying or is bleeding..and who do you think shows up to stop the bleed or secures a a crime scene or hunts down the murderer, rapist, drug / weapons dealer, or protects us against the criminals?
I spent many years when was younger committing these crimes the police respond too, and let me tell you first hand, most will never know or ever see what really goes on in the streets, in the jails, in the darkest of alleyways which even some of the most seasoned criminals wouldn’t event walk down on a good day.
Take a minute today – and if you see a cop , wave, smile , thank them for not only risking their lives to PROTECT us, but also be grateful we don’t have to go home with everything they see and do day to day to keep us safe .
When they go home after a shift , the gun and badge may stay in the locker, but the thoughts and feelings of what they endure and see each day stays with them..while they try and be a father, or a mother, they see the crimes, they hear the tears , they feel the loss of life day in and day out ..everyday of every shift and yet most of us …just EXPECT this from them ?
Without names or departments…I will say this cause the media wont tell you , and either will any cop ..but I assure you that nearly 70 % of all Police officers may look strong and are strong on the outside…but inside their hearts and souls are being torn to shreds without any help from their employers, they are brutally over worked and are taking home more and more trauma than we the public have any idea .
Today was Thanks Giving ..and I am Thankful for Constable Leonard Isaac for driving hours into the back country all alone, just to meet me, flip out tire to help raise awareness to PTSD / Mental Health and take me with you to deliver court orders.
I feel and understand your position a lot more than I ever did Sir , and I have a lot more respect for all police officers around the world now knowing just how tough your job really is.
One day we will get ” the presumptive” clause passed, ( Bill M203) so all of our Emergency Service Providers can have access to the help they need sooner than later.
When I say “WE” .. I MEAN US —- THE PUBLIC who YOU risk your life for everyday.
Thanks giving happens once per year , we should all be Thankful everyday of the year for our Public safety workers.

My Hotel Sponsor Caught Me Stealing ..ya gotta do what ya gotta do

My hotel sponsor CAUGHT ME STEALING,

I feel horrible, but ya just gotta do what ya gotta do to raise awareness to #ptsd.
General Manager, Tony Medd of the Summit Lodge Boutique Hotel, tells his side of the story.
Only 6 weeks after coming down of the Lions Gate Bridge, I had a dream, and a goal.
My dream, to run a camp for first responders who suffer with PTSD, and a goal, to raise awareness to PTSD.
In order to make the dream and my goal a reality, I needed to learn how to use the internet.Keep in mind I was 200 kms away from any humans, a place where internet just did not even exist.
Jan/ early Feb 2015, I had made my way into Whistler, and started grinding away at my goals.
I was only 6 weeks into my opiate and other substance withdrawals, and didn’t have a penny to my name and had just picked up 2 bags of food from the local Food Bank.
NOTHING was going to stop me from fulfilling this dream now that I had another chance at life.
I had spent the first few days outside the Blendz coffee shop poaching the internet from 11 pm till about 5 am ..everyday freezing cold, fingers numb, hungary and homeless.
After a few 22 hour days, I found it a real pain in the ass sitting outside in the freezing cold and I walked across the street one morning to use the bathroom at the Summit Lodge Hotel.While I was in the bathroom I was like …AWWW DAM it sure is nice n warm in here.
I now found my new office, the bathroom floor beside the urinals, Didn’t bother me , as only a few weeks earlier i was trying to survive in the alleyways down on E.Hastings,the bowels of Vancouver.
Pffft , bathroom floors…LUXURY.
Now, I had noticed that every time I stepped outside to have a cigarette , I saw that nobody was at the front desk.
A thought crossed my mind as I looked over through the lobby at the big warm welcoming fireplace and super rad comfy couch , with big ol pillows.Sure would be nice to set up shop there.Certainly better than the floors in the pisser.
I rolled the dice , and set my computer up night after night, everyday until the first hotel customer had came down off the elevator for coffee.I even went so far as to bring my own tea lights and candles.
I’ll never forget the feeling in my gut when something came over me and thought, maybe I should write the GM and ask him to help sponsor me and allow me to have a room for one night per week in order for me to at least have a quik nap in a bed, and a shower once per week.
Remember, in those days I was homeless in Whistler, and was only napping 3 hrs every morning per day for weeks.
Us addicts will go to any length to get what we need, no mountain is to HIGH, no law is to stiff, no penalty would ever stop us from getting from a-b.
I sent Tony Medd an email and , he responded with a email politely asking me to not return to the hotel again.
My heart was broken.
All I could think and feel was, even after 5 long years of suffering with PTSD, the loss of my family of 13 years, my careers, my friends and numerous denials from WCB..now I get yet another door slammed in my face and what did I do to deserve this way of life for so long?
When would i ever get a break?
The thoughts of giving up crossed my mind for about 3 seconds, and I looked up into the universe and smiled.I knew I had a purpose on this earth and I was simply NOT IN CONTROL of it at all, and this was just the way it was meant to be.
So I left the hotel back out into the brittle cold to keep driving from my heart at my goals and dreams.
Thanks to my higher power and beautiful destiny, Tonys initial judgment of me was changed within hours and next thing ya know i found myself eating at a 5 star restaurant and given a executive king size suite 3 days a week for as long as i needed to get the work done.
Now, nearly 2 years later, I still have my room here at the Summit Lodge, and am proud to say that we started www.campmyway.com last summer and to date have almost made 1 million views through our social media / websites, instagram, twitter , CTV NEWS, Global News, every news paper from Canada to Germany and we are now helping change the workers compensation law to help other First Responders who suffer with PTSD get the help they need upon request, without years of suffering and or facing the horrific thoughts of leaving there friends and families behind from takin their own life.
The success to these last 2 years of hard work in raising awareness to PTSD , is only possible because of one of our first sponsors Tony Medd at the Summit Lodge Boutique in Whistler.
None of this would be possible if it weren’t for Tonys genuine compassion and for believing in me.
I will admit , these last few days have been pretty stressful for me as I can’t possibly tell you all in a facebook post or quik video just how grateful I am to Tony and all the staff here at the Summit Lodge.
I will ask you now though, please help me show Tony the support he deserves by voting Summit Lodge to win for the 3 year in a row to be Canada’s #1 Ski Hotel by clicking the link below you can vote now.
http://worldskiawards.com/…/summit-lodge-boutique-hotel-2016

NDP/MLA Shane Simpson shackled in Chains - PTSD / Mental Health Awareness

My new Friend Mr.Shane Simpson, a member of the legislative assembly, joined us last week to help help us flip our tire while shackled in chains to raise awareness to PTSD and support those suffering with mental illness.

watch vid

shane sit ups

I'M NO LONGER AFRAID ...

This post brings many tears to my eyes …

3 weeks ago while I was in Victoria, I had received an email from a man, thanking the Breaking the Chains BC team for helping save his life during a PTSD Awareness event we had just completed only 2 days prior.

I asked the man to please call me ASAP, and gave him my phone number.
Within minutes, I answered the call from a man named Rand Vance.

He explained that his life had been pretty rough over the years, since a young age (will not get into details in this post) and this was a special day for him because he was handed one of our flyers from one of our very dedicated PTSD WARRIORS.

He looked up our website and learned more about what we we’re doing to help support those who suffer in silence and are living with Post Traumatic Stress. He went through many of our past videos and was very inspired by our message, and felt he was NOT ALONE, and could reach out to us.

So he did.

After hearing Rand Vance story, it had touched my heart so much, that we at Breaking the Chains BC decided that day to do ANOTHER #PTSD / #mentalhealth program for Aug 20th (this past weekend).

Now the second best part of the story, I had opened my facebook the next day to see that Rand had taken it upon himself to start doing the #22pushupchallange and help raise awareness to the 22 soldiers who die by suicide in America each day who suffer with PTSD.

I had watched his video of day one, trying to do his 22 push ups ..and it brought so many tears to my eyes, after hearing his life story and here he was now raising awareness himself to PTSD and dong his best to do so …upon watching him struggle and bang out 14 of his 22 push-ups ..that was the best he could do …it confirmed my personal belief that ..I had now found MY HERO.

I gave him my word on the phone a few days earlier that we would meet in person and we would do another PTSD awareness program on Aug 20th.

Now the best part, Rand Vance shows up 1 hour early on Aug 20th and tells me he doesn’t feel comfortable in crowds and that he’s afraid of being in large groups.

I explained to him as the bus loads of warriors showed up, that WE ARE ALL THERE TO SUPPORT each other and connect together.

Rand, still explained to me that he was not comfortable with so many people around him. I put my paw on his shoulder, looked him in he eyes, and assured him ..he is safe, and in good hands as I looked up to the universe above and smiled.

The video you’re about to watch says it all, as I have no words that will ever describe how it feels to have watched Rand lead over 70 Warriors doing 22 push ups to raise awareness to the 22 soldiers who die by suicide each day in America.

Thank you Rand Vance, you Sir are not only MY HERO, but a huge inspiration to all.

Global News coverage from our event this weekend

Here’s just the beginning of this weekend’s huge success from the Breaking the Chains BC team of volunteers who came down to help us raise awareness to PTSD and support those with Mental Illness .

stay tuned all week for the amazing story ..

Breaking the Chains BC - with MLA Shane Simpson - Legislature building

Breaking the Chains BC was invited to the Legislature Building in Victoria BC to have lunch with MLA Shane Simpson, the man who tabled Bill M203 the Presumption of Illness.

We had an amazing talk about our petition, prevention, mental health and addiction, support and recovery.

You’re invited to join us in Stanley Park, English Bay to help us raise awareness to PTSD and support those who suffer with Mental Illness.

ITS TIME TO TALK TO THE PREMIER - Christy Clark

VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE from a Lion and NDP/MLA Politican Shane Simpson -to ALL CANADIANS
IT’s TIME TO TALK TO THE PREMIER

FACT – Canadian First Responders are dying by suicide at a rate of 1 per week.
If we the public wait until May 2017 for Bill M203 to get tabled and passed, this means another 41 of our Canadian Police Officers, Paramedics, Fireman, Dispatch 911 agents, Military, and Corrections Officers will have taken their own lives , and will leave their families behind without ANY help from the government.

WE NEED YOUR HELP, its time to talk to the Premier Christy Clark, and help the men and women who risk their lives and their families mental health everyday from simply doing their job.

Every week we wait, or assume someone else will just do the work or make the calls …we will loose another human being.

When WE, the PUBLIC, need a policeman, and a paramedic, or a fireman, or even just call 911 …we get the service without any questions asked…now..ITS OUR TURN to return the service to other human beings who are suffering and are contemplating taking their own life.

Our LIFE IS NOT FOR THE TAKING – ITS FOR THE GIVING …please  help give a few minutes of your time to sign our petition and make some calls to the Premier. Hon. Christy Clark – (250) 387-1715

Its the RIGHT THING TO DO !!