I was born an ADDICT, I will DIE AN ADDICT.
You may refer to addiction as a mental illness,
You may refer to us as mentally ill.
I prefer to refer to us as MENTALLY INTELLIGENT.
We THINK too much,
We FEEL too much,
We HURT to much,
We have so much going on in our heads, that most addicts use simply to ‘calm the storm”, that brews inside our thoughts, our hearts, our feelings.
We are always,
Govern’d by the rules,
Govern’d by the laws,
Judged by the sheep,
that graze in the fields,
Our pain ,
Is NEVER seen,
Only looked down at by those who don’t understand us.
We act different,
We dress different,
We think different,
WE ARE DIFFERENT,
We don’t pretend to be sheep,
What you see is what you get.
Our thoughts and feelings overwhelm us,
because we don’t fit into those lusious green pastures,
We step out of the fields,
Climb mountains so HIGH
But with societies rules and regulations,
we are trapped in a cage,
Never able a chance,
To fulfill our dreams
Go to the hood, the ghettos disgrace,
Then grab a few suits, and drop them in this place.
See who survives , who listens and learns,
Their wallets are useless ,
Their money just burns
Just over 1 year ago, I had been denied by WCB for the 3rd and final time after 4 long grueling years of suffering and jumping through all their hoops and spit on for the last time by the Vancouver Olympic Committee, VANOC
Never once given even so much as a band-aid for an injury I got at work, simply from doing my job, trying to save a man’s life.
Addicts find our own ways to heal when thrown to the streets to try and survive, no food, no roof, no support, no care, no love… stripped naked and thrown to the wolves as we lay their bleeding, as we are being eaten alive, wondering… why me… what did I do to deserve this?
Our answers come in a needle, or a bag… stemming from the pills the ever so “free health care system” has kindly GIVEN US to begin with.
After years of hunger, years of pain, from simply trying to live and
PLAY THEIR GAME.
Weeks of walking around like a zombie,
Starving, homeless, no friends, no money, no future, nowhere to go,
Cocaine psychosis, paranoid, afraid and ashamed,
I know where to go …die by suicide …go with the flow.
One last thought came to my mind,
I wished there was a place,
a place to go, where if a man lost everything , he would be welcomed with open arms.
A place of no cost, a place to heal, a place where he is understood and cared for, not judged, unconvicted and is fed and given one more chance to just be heard and given time to rest, given the time to set new goals, the time to separate himself from all the rules and judges in society.
Only 30 days after withdrawing from all the drugs and meds, I was driven to start this place ..I understood it needed to be done MY WAY…but could only be possible with help from the people who cared and were compassionate enough to listen and believe in my dream and goal to help Emergency Service Provider who suffer with #PTSD. I dug in deep, listened to my heart, and committed my life to helping others selflessly. “ADDICTED”.
Within just 3 months of attempting to die by suicide, not having a penny to my name and only eating from the food bank, I had raised over $87,000 worth of sponsorship from of the most compassionate people, we made phase 1 of Camp My Way a success.
The first man I met to help make Breaking the Chains BC, and www.campmyway.com a reality, is Mr Larry Falcon of Escape Route Whistler.
Meet Mr Larry Falcon, and learn how he helped –
Larry is not just a Friend of mine today, but I consider a part of our family here at Camp My Way.
Thank you Mr. Larry Falcon for believing in me brother. Respect to you Sir.
Hopefully this message finds the public on a positive note and will help inspire and motivate other addicts who are judged and thrown into a cage, to look up and be proud of who we are, and use our addiction as a strength, not feel like it’s a weakness.
Yes, I Terrance Joseph Kosikar humbly admit that I am a ADDICT, and “JUST FOR TODAY”, I am addicted to helping those who suffer in silence get the help they need to get their lives back, their families back, their sanity back to enjoy another day on this earth as a human being.