11 months ago, I was at my cousin Curtis Harriott – MMA title fight at the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver when I bumped into bro of mine that I used to go to Narcotics Anonymous with years earlier.
I was pretty stoked to see him and tell him how proud I was for being clean from cocaine, herion, and crystal meth now for nearly 1 year.
He asked if I was still taking the oxycontin for pain management.
I had been taking many pain killers over the years as I have 3 fully degenerated disks in my lower back that pinch the nerves so bad that I often can not feel my legs, pain unbearable, and also a fully torn ACL, and completely blown ligament in my elbows, on top of a torn Supraspinatus muscle in my shoulder.
Oh, and to ice the cake, in 2014, I had broke my pelvis nearly in half. ( open book fracture – 1 steel plate 6 bolts put me back together, but not without leaving me with a 4 inch hernia that isn’t painful but sure feels awkward to say the least.
Anyhow, boohoo poor me , yes, 11 months ago I was consuming many pain killers just to get my ass outta bed in the morning and on with my day.
My bro says to me that I am NOT CLEAN, if I am still consuming even so much as 1 pain killer.
I actually walked away from him pretty pissed that night and thought to myself “but I have a prescription”??
I went home and later said to myself, “SELF, what happens when I start Breaking the Chains BC , flipping that tractor tire 30 kms in 30 days to raise awareness to #PTSD and the media or the people get wind that I’m still using opiates to get through my day”?
They will not listen to all my surgical excuses, all they will do is judge me and think of me as a #addict still.
Do they really know what an ADDICT is though or what we live with each day?
They should put their cell phone away for 30 days, ok wait that would be impossible, try 7 days, and have a small taste of what #addcition is like.( raises an eye brow)
Time to check into Vancouver Coastal Health Detox Services – Nexus ( AGAIN )
Opiate withdrawal – personal experience.
You ever try to dig through your skin just to pull your veins out ONLY TO MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER ?
You ever have 15-25 days of extreme insomnia, where your mind is so wide awake but yet all you can hear are the voices of your thoughts wirlwinding through your mind like a freight train doing 9000 miles per hour, and yet, everyone around you is sleeping.
You ever have your nose run like a faucet for 3 weeks straight, while your arms flail around uncontrollably and your legs just wont stop shaking, so you just pace the room like a budgie in a cage, back n forth back n forth , GOING NOWHERE
You ever sit their for weeks with NO thoughts or TO MANY thoughts while the people around you look at you as though your completely insane?
That feeling you get when you try to get out of bed, but every single hair on your body feels like they are broken bones – dope sick
How about that moment you think you were asleep but wake up to buckets of sweat tickling your belly as the toxins pour out of your soul as you lay there for weeks shivering and wanting to cry but your pours bleed sweat instead of your soul crying tears. BRUTAL
( list of tourcher goes on )
As of today, I have not figured it all out by all means, but will say that I have learned a few things that help me get thought each day one day at a time which has got me 11 months in so far without any drugs OR PAINKILLERS ( drugs ) 100 % clean
Im certainly not a doctor, but if I was to suggest my personal medicine to any human looking to BREAK FREE, to a more clean, organic, happier, stress free, depression free life would be as follows.
2) nutrition / hydration
3) meditation / spirituality / higher power / forgiveness
4) volunteer and help someone for a minimum of 2 hours each day NO EXCUSES
and simply #knowyourself, #beyourself, #loveyourself
We will not just stop being ADDICTS, but we have the choice today to change what we are addicted to.
I am eternally grateful for my friends and family in my life today and for all of my new facebook friends out their around the world.
Thank you for believing in me, and always sharing our program and helping support all that we at Breaking the Chains BC does to help raise awareness to PTSD / ADDICTION / MENTAL HEALTH.
Without your support, LIKES and SHARES, we certainly wouldn’t be where we are today to help those who are still suffering and trying to survive in the #darkness, #depressed, #anxious, #stressed, #addicted, #suicidal, #withouthope, #PTSD
Our mind is the worst enemy , connecting together as people, supporting and understanding each other without the dollar, without judgment, without the drugs, is our strongest weapon against mental illness / addiction no matter what age you are or how dark the day may seem.
VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU today to Scott Tha Funk Mclaughlin for trusting me with his motorcycle this past weekend to go on a recovery ride put on by Last Door Recovery Society that raised thousands of dollars to go towards their #youth at #risk / #family program.
Thank you Ralf Slossarek for keeping a 5 star roof over my head, food in my belly and gas in the tank all weekend.
Without the support from these 2 close brothers of mine, My life and journey today would not be possible.
Dam , another 3:30 am post – Did I ever tell you addicts never stop?
Especially when driven with our hearts .. enjoy your day .
photo by Kayla Arnold