Breaking the Chains - GERMANY / Mental Health Awareness - PTSD

When Breaking the Chains BC ended in March, I made a statement saying,

This is not the end of final KM, this is JUST THE BEGINNING.

Well , now I am obviously in Germany, and just found a new tire to start flipping.

I will Post a quick video now that is emotional to me , and tell a quick story .

Starting next week, I will be joining my Flincher’s 33 brothers and Maihattan Choppers and we will ride to Magic Bike Rudeseim where Manhattan Choppers has a booth set up from May 26 – 29th.

I will be bringing my tire and taking advantage of the large gathering of over 20 000 bikers from around the world to help raise awareness to PTSD , Mental Health.

You don’t haver to be a first responder or a soldier to have PTSD.

PTSD comes in all shapes and sizes and affects 90 % of humans at some point in there life.

Key is , to recognize and prevent the symptoms from happening and when or if they do .what we can do to ease the suffering and accept and move on without it ruining our lives or loosing our minds and families .

I must keep this post short, as i am very deep into completing my book I am writing and have a lot of Breaking the Chains BC awareness events coming up all summer.

Stay tuned, this is just the tip of the ice berg

Dreams Come True - PTSD / Mental Health Awareness in our youth - PREVENTION

My entire life, I wish more than anything, that I had the confidence to speak properly and in control to a large group of people.

kiss 2 eyes closed
In just a few hours, I have the opportunity to go meet the director of a high school here in Germany.
I was in the gym last week teaching a few people my ab workout routine when this
17 yr old boy named Ole walks up with this huge smile on his face and reached out to give me a high five.
I smiled, gave him some knucks and asked him to join us.
He did and all 4 of us trained for about 20 minutes.
After our workout I was explaining to these guys where I am from in Canada, and how I live in the backcountry mountains away from a gym like this and people and they kinda laughed when I told them the kind of phone I use is still plugged into the wall.
They had a good little laugh and couldn’t believe it.One guy says to me
“Man, you sure are VERY DISCONNECTED aren’t you” ?
I smiled and asked the guy, ” tell me my Friend, what would you do if you didn’t have your cell phone for more than 4 days”?
he says
“OMG, I can’t even live without it for 4 hours, I would loose my mind and feel so disconnected” to the world”.
I took that opportunity to ask him to show me his phone.
He pulled it out and I had them all huddle around as I typed in my
Once it opened , I said, ok ..everyone quiet for 2 mins and watch this.
We watched the 2 minute promo video for Camp My Way.
these guys sat and watched in total awe …their faces lit up and LOVED the nature, the mountains, the lakes, the canoeing , paddle boarding, the fishing, the ATV’ing , the mediation and yoga.
Once the vid was over they all sat in total disbelief.
I looked at them all and said softly .
“THAT IS CONNECTED my brothers”.
Anyhow , I gave them all a business card and we all hugged and high fives back to our personal workouts.
2 days later ..I get a Friend request on Facebook from this kid Ole …he says he’s sooooo stoked on what we are doing to raise awareness to PTSD ,,and mental health, that he wants to talk to his teachers at school to get me to come and do a presentation about PTSD in front of his class mates .
He says how important it would be for all of his friends at school to learn this.
I told him , “Ole, i couldn’t agree more”
Anyhow is a big day , Ole spoke with his teachers and I’m on my way in about 1 hour to go meet the director of the Philipp-Reis-schule in friedrichsdrof .
It’s been a dream of mine all these years to speak to kids at high schools, jouvinal detention centres and first responder courses about PTSD, Addiction, Mental Health and try to inspire and motivate these kids and plant positive seeds in their minds for their future – PREVENTION IS KEY ..
anyhow …best part of it all …my new friend Ole writes me everyday and I train him at the gym every few days
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..he’s a kewl kid and wants to be a personal body guard for the political government here in Germany one day or serve and protect his country somehow.He’s even said he’d like to be a prison guard.
let me go get a comment he wrote me last week – i’ll cut and paste it.
Ole Schmitt
Thanks men… you are my idol… you do so great things. Its so amazing
Crazy thing is …Ole says I may speak in front of 500 kids …yikes..hahahah i’ve never spoke to more than 4 in a group ….better go get some kisses and calm my anxiety and nerves from one of my pride at the hoarse ranch …Hoarses help calm my nerves and stay in the present and remind me just how small I really am in this world.
Enjoy your day, and cross your fingers for this golden opportunity to spread the word to our youth .
VITAL to their survival / future

Thanks for taking the time to read and share .


Horses helped my PTSD / Opiate withdrawls

I stopped by to see a old girlfriend of mine 2 days ago here in Germany.
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Her name is Scarlett.

While I was flipping my tire during my Breaking the Chains BC program, I thought of her often.I thought about how only a few months earlier when we met, i thought most people would think i’m crazy for doing this, but in my state of mind i needed to do this.

I needed to talk with someone or something the same as I do my best friend Meathead. Animals listen …they feel us and care for us more than we know.

I told her everything without hesitation or icing on the cake ,,she listened and each day would give me kisses and hope .she felt my pain, she understood my pain , and in turn tought me to stay present with my body and be more aware of my enviroment without worrying about my past or even worry about tomorrow.

I learned a lot from her ..shes very special to me.

I made it a point to stop at the hoarse ranch when I landed here in Germany ..and this is her reaction to seeing me for the first time in a few long months.

So amazing .. priceless and free

I don’t recall my physiatrist acting this way when i would sit in his offie every week .

In the next few weeks as continue to work hard on my book, you will get the full story of how and why I ended up at this hoarse ranch.

The vanilla version of this story started a few months ago at Christmas time –

Hofgut Beinhard – Merry Christmas


Born to be WILD - Mental Health Awareness - we LIVE to RIDE

Today, was by far the BEST day of my life.

As you know , last year I was surviving in the streets, homeless, hungary, addicted to drugs, and 40 pounds underweight and found myself about to jump 111 meters off the Lions Gate Bridge to my death.

Hopeless and completely given up on by everyone I knew.

Accept my TRUE FRIENDS Ralfi, and Mr Willard.

Even though they are 1/2 way around the world, they reached out, cared, listened, and supported me in getting my life back, so I could continue on in life and take all my negative experiences and turn my future into a positive one and take my lessons to help others who may be suffering with depression, anxiety, guilt and stress.

They have known me for over 15 years, and saw someone inside me that I did not know.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without the help and support from my Friends and in turn , now I have quite a few new friends and family that truly loves me.

In turn, it has motivated me to drive deep 20 hrs a day to try and help give as much support, respect and hope to those who also may suffer in silence the same way I used to , and try to motivate and give them hope to so they also may enjoy a good , healthy , life full of freedom, friendships, sobriety, and the endless will to survive this sometimes stressful life as a human.

I must keep this blog post short for now, as I am currently writing my book and will give you the entire story by summers end.

BEST DAY EVER , the feeling of freedom, the feeling of love and life is a special gift we have today.

I am eternally grateful for all I have today – and thank the universe and my high power for all my hard earned lessons.

Supporting Mental Health Week Canada - from Germany

To live without the “FELT SENSE”, violates the most basic experience of being ALIVE.

German Chief Commander Peter Dietz, of the Bad Homburg Feuerwehren – Fire Rescue, Mainhattan Choppers and my Flincher’s 33 family connected today to ride and send our love and support to those Canadians who may be struggling with their Mental Health.

– the ” FELT SENSE”, helps people feel more comfortable, more grounded, more at home in their bodies.

– the “FELT SENSE”, can enhance our sense of balance and coordination.

– the “FELT SENSE”, improves memory and provides us deeper access to the subtle instinctual impulses that guide the healing of trauma.

– the “FELT SENSE”, increases creativity.

– it is from the “FELT SENSE”, that we experience well-being, peace and connectedness.

It is how we experience, ” SELF “.

Learning to know yourself through the ” FELT SENSE”, is the first step toward healing trauma.


Wherever you are reading this, make yourself as comfortable as possible.

Feel the way your body makes contact with the surface that is supporting you.

Sense your skin and notice the way your clothes feel.
Sense underneath your skin – what sensations are there?
Now, gently remembering these sensations, how do you know that you feel comfortable?
What physical sensations contribute to the over all feeling of comfort?
Does becoming more aware of these sensations make you feel more or less comfortable?
Does this change over time?

Sit for a moment and enjoy the ” FELT SENSE”, of feeling comfortable.

Smile ..and enjoy this moment ,
Our life is a gift today, Be grateful for today, forgive the past and accept WHO YOU ARE, while you get to know yourself, be yourself and in time will TRUELY LOVE YOURSELF again, and simply understand all that we have lived throu and endured in life are our lessons to become even stronger, more helpful, more loving human beings.

Terrance J Kosikar


Mental Health Tip - Stress / Anger - Remedy - Nature

readThe Lion has been sitting up all morning, trying to research and edit a new video to try and help those who may live with a lot of stress and suddenly find themselves getting very upset or even angry for no reason.

After 7 long hours of sitting in front of this plastic device humans call a TOOL, my computer decided to suddenly shut off and completely delete all my hard work.


My initial reaction,
I slammed my paws on the table and cussed at this device for about 4 minutes, wanting to just bite my sharp fangs into this so called tool, and tear it into a 1000 little pieces.

I then realized, I was out of control over nothing but a piece of plastic.

Thoughts flooded my brain with,

I dont have time to redo it all over again, people in Canada wake up at 6 am – 13 minutes from now

I thought, FK, I have to be at the gym by 3 pm and now i’ll have to rush.

I thought , FK, I haven’t even eaten yet

I thought , dam it , I’ve never in my life had so many headaches , why is this world trying to reprogram me to be a robot ?

Im an animal, and not meant to just sit for endless hours upon hours at this table and click, click, click, export, then import, upload, download, plug in, batteries gonna die, what folder did I put that picture, download music, edit words, time it all to music, speak from my heart, where’s my logo , blah blah .

Then it dawned on me ..

Take my own medicine , when your feeling stressed out, or angry,

Simply walk away, and go somewhere quiet and read a book and do some breaths.

I did just that , and drove around for 45 minutes and found a beautiful old fort that used to be run by the Roman Empire many years before Christ. Saalburg


There, I found peace and quiet, and layed in some flowers feeling the energy from this old fortress and just layed in their for hours reading a nice book.

The sunshine was beautiful, the moment in time was beautiful and i found myself thinking, ,  ahhhh that was easy.

Remedy – Nature – Breaths – sounds of birds , sunshine, good book,

NO –  E L E C T R O N I C S

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FIGHT- FLIGHT or FREEZE / Post Traumatic Stress / Prevention

“We are not human anymore”, says Kosikar


The Lion wakes to a forest he has had to survive in his entire life,
To remain at the top of the food chain, instinctually picking up tools of survival along the way,
Deep scars, from many years of battles,
Some visible, most mental,
From simply doing what needed to be done to feed himself each day on this planet they call earth.

The sound of broken branches, forces the Lion to put down his pen,
Claws retract,
his tail stops flicking,
ears perk up straight,
2 baby deer and their mother,
come walking onto the Lions plate.
He licks his sharp fangs,
as it’s been days,
since he last ate.

One paw in front of the next, he quietly stalks his prey,
Knowing from experience,
When faced with a life or death situation,
The deer are hardwired,
NOT to FIGHT, but to take FLIGHT … for it lives in fear.

Just like humans,
Not trained or given ANY basic tools of survival at home,
or in a classroom as a child –
many years WASTED,
NOT EVER, taught to simply breathe, to calm our sadness, depression, anxiety.
Naturally, we must talk it out – TO WHO ?
– not while learning.
SELF CARE  – money matters
Taught well, endless debt

The baby deer are like children,
Eyes wide open,
Innocently, eating the grass,
Ready to flee,
with the shift of the wind,

At a moments notice,

all 3 deer run for their lives,
each in a different direction.
Just like humans do,
in a natural disaster, or life threatening situation.
( flight )

The Lion focus’s on the weakest, slowest, baby deer,

Back and forth,
the deer zigs, and zags,
jumping, running, panicked
and just before the Lion reaches the helpless little one,
She collapses,
Paralyzed with fear, too much Adrenalin,
knowing instinctively, this beast will eat her alive in just a few moments.

The baby deer didn’t give up on purpose, ( freeze )
This is simply a natural reaction when a mammals body endures this much excitement.
Some call it turtling up, or playing possum or playing dead.
The animal, just like a human’s body reacts naturally like this when it danger or faced with something so overwhelming it simply shuts down immediately in response to the trauma,

Keep in mind, this is how ALL mammals are hard wired period. .
It’s a natural survival mechanism embedded into us as all –  animals / humans
Also keep in mind, that if this baby deer was eaten, she will not feel any pain or suffer at all .
She has so much adrenalin, stress, anxiety caught in her nervous system..all her emotions and feelings are numb.

The Lion wraps his strong jaws around the little one,
and carries his capture over to a tree,
and stashes it for later.

The mother deer, and brother deer don’t even look back.
they move on in life, for this is just the way it is in their world.

No tears, no depression, no stress,
they don’t feel suicidal.
They continue on,
never looking back,
they live in the moment,
Not in the past.

“Wait a minute”, who’s that ?

Out from behind the tree,
walks the baby deer,
Shaking and trembling uncontrollably -” NATURALLY ”
( same as soldiers when witnessing trauma or life threatening situation )
quote from fellow soldier-
” He was so scared, he shaking in his boots”.

Keep in mind, that when the baby deer collapsed, she was running for her life at 60 mph.
This is the amount of adrenilyn caught in her system.
60 mph of stress
60 mph of anxiety
60 mph of fear
heart rate – guess



This shaking or trembling is a NATURAL RESPONSE in all of us.
Animals and humans.

This is when we MUST shake off the adrenalin, stress, anxiety  caught in our nervous system.
ALL humans and animals ( mammals ) do this naturally, but when humans do it ,  other humans will STOP a person from the shaking as they think something is horribly wrong..
this is NOT GOOD..we must at the time allow our bodies to shed this out of ourselves or as we see today…so many problems with humans living with nightmares, stress, anxiety, depression will stay with us eternally making us suffer.

They may now spend months or even years talking about their experiences, reliving them, expressing their anger, fear, and sorrow, but without passing through the primitive “immobility responses” and releasing the residual energy, they will often remain stuck in the traumatic maze and continue to live in distress.

Without proper tools and resources, most of us fail.
The result, sadly, is many of us become riddled with fear and anxiety and are never fully able to feel at home in our world.

The young deer reunites with her mother and brother again.

She walks, Slowly eating the grass naturally again.

The mother deer doesn’t run over asking, “are you ok, are you ok?”
The young deer doesn’t run out panicked or scared telling stories of how this beastly Lion captured her and stashed her to be eaten later.
The young deer doesn’t talk about it – over and over – and over again.
The young deer  doesn’t go seek pills or wonder all day and night why she was captured and not eaten.
The young deer simply is not even so much as traumatized what so ever,
neither is the mother or brother deer.
For they have been hardwired to accept this way of life,
Instinctively, they know this is just the way it is in their world.

These animals do NOT live with Post Traumatic Stress.

From birth, they have a clear understanding,
who they are,
and how to take care of themselves from DAY ONE,
and simply accept who they are, and how they fit into this world.

We as humans used to have this natural, basic animal instinct ,

But over time, its has slowly been bred out of us .
making us wonder,
Why so many suffer today ?

The answer is simple !

As of today, we aren’t even human beings anymore.

We are BLINDLY becoming robots,
Machines without oil,
Clean water, healthy food
and are handed these plastic devices they call tools –
Hypnotized we’ve become –
Slave to a screen ..
Visibly blind
Deaf to whats around us

Made to feel,
we have to dress a certain way,
act a certain way,
walk a certain way ,
or else we will get shunned out of our groups,
or simply….DELETED

as quick as your finger can touch the screen
forgotten that quick…gone forever.

1000’s of years ago, we did not wear uniforms,
we did not drive BMW’s
nor dress in suits and ties.
A WOLF was a WOLF,
now .. the wolf puts on sheeps clothing,
and what we see,

Humans today are so spoiled,
Selfishly, greedily, wanting more and more and more.
More cushioning,
More padding,
More answers,
More money.

But with today’s technology,
we assume we can just google our problems
or take some pills,
to fix the INSANITY.

1000’s of years ago,
we lived and thrived along animals ..AS ANIMALS
our common senses have been slowly bred out of us,

Our thoughts, and basic needs have become so selfish, so careless,
Our diets – GARBAGE
Our laws and rules – RIDICULAS

Our friends now a days only become friends …with a touch of a button
We share our meals …as a uploaded file
We share our laughter … with a yellow icon or a ” lol ”
We only “LIKE” something …after looking at it for a mere 0.4 seconds

Within 20 minutes,
We’ve “LIKED”, 40 things,
But with- in another 20 minutes,
Can you even remember what you really LIKE ?

I sit here after 40 long years,
Why the gang life as a teenager ?
Why did I or how could i have assaulted so many ?
Why the drugs ?
Why the bullets ?
Why the streets , so cold, heartless, ruthless.
How was incarceration to help me ?
Why so many years of punishment?
Why depression?
Why so many names, characters?
Why so many sleepless nights, vivid nightmares, brutal thoughts and fantasies?
How could I have ever sold my body and soul to the devil ? sexual assault
Take lives, save lives, lost lives

I look back and wonder at which road I should have turned left instead of right,

But from childhood, we are not given maps, we are not given any tools ,
1st words we hear from birth are NO , and DO NOT!

As we grow,
we are given more options,
More signs, more rules, more laws ,

Penality ,
Late fee
Do this or else,
Don’t go here ,
Cant go there
Go this way
Do this
DONT do that
ABANDONED if injured , left to the wolves

The sheep must be hearded

I sit here and have a clear understanding now from so many wrong turns and why I made these wrong turns.

I was never given tools at home,
Hour after hour, day after day, month after month, year after year,
COMPLETLY WAISTED in a classroom never given ONE SINGLE class or tool or lesson as to learning anything about myself …or anything about people..or survival.

Learned the hard way yes, and all the people I’ve met during those lessons
Burried 6 ft deep

I wonder , at what point in todays day, will anyone try and push to have it implemented into our children’s education ?
SELFCARE and learn more about ourselves and WHO we are and Why we are.

At home, they get a tablet, or a iPad, cell phone or Xbox ..eyes closed , shakes my head … robots are growing

Ya can’t teach a old dog new tricks?
We learn most about life from ages 3- 9 yrs old
Well. why can we not have a class everyday, every year from grade 1 – 8 about US , Selfcare
and learn more about each other as people,rather than how to make more money money money .




EDUCATION is KEY to survival.
What we are educated on is what matters 1+1 equals 2 ?
We wait till we go to the doctors to learn whats wrong..and are handed a life sentence to it.

Why do we wait till we are broken to go get fixed ?

I sit and wonder,
Imagine hows kids today ages 3- 9 would be like 20 yrs from now, if they took 1 hr day to learn more about themselves and how to exercise, eat properly, drink more water, get off the plastic devices. and just talk about who they are and how they are feeling to each other and made it a practice to do so everyday.

The pharmasutcle companies, doctors, shrinks, treatment centers,insurance companies liquor stores,drug stores would all be outta business ..for the most part.

We as humans are not sick ,

Humans today – ARE THE VIRUS on this earth.

If we were handed these plastic devices from aliens 3000 yrs ago…what would be look like today?

What would we eat toady , how would we FEEL today as people?

excatly …we wouldn’t even be here
Only 10 years ago, the subways were fully of laughter, the streets full of converstions.

Restaurants full of talk ..and emotions were on everyones faces

Today , the subway doors close. all is quite…
Today, the lady at the grocery doesn’t even smile
You stand at a red light ..everyone looking at their phones.
They have a thought, they text it ,
They have a emotion, they click it…painful to watch, emotionless, robotic.

I used to laugh when they started putting the BEEP BEEP sounds at red lights and green lights for blind people ..knowing, there isn’t that many blind people walking around EVERY street at EVERY light in EVERY city …they were put in for us … THE BLIND.

Well..that’s about enough for todays feelings, off to the gym to shake off all the trauma still stuck in my nervous system ..I must do this daily.
I still live with 40 yrs of Trauma stuck in me ..gotta lot of work to do daily to prevent the nightmares, the depression, the anxiety and stress from kicking in.

`Im not 100 % healed and more than likely never will be , but there is a lot we can do each day to prevent the problems or stress from arising.

Written by – Terrance Joseph Kosikar

Mental Health Week - May 2 - 8th - PTSD AWARENESS VIDEO

There is an officer, a paramedic, a firefighter who is struggling right now to hide their injuries. They are suffering and may not survive the year.

They SEARCH for US,

They ANSWER OUR calls,
They FIGHT for US,
They DIE for US,
They CRY for US,
They are THERE for US,

They SUFFER with PTSD.